Tipping Points

What's Missing?

A young husband and father with a passion for Christ hung his head as he admitted to me that he just couldn’t lead his family. He wanted to stay at Church of the Open Door. Our unique grace-based culture encouraged the type of truth telling that redeems, releasing Christians to their strengths. He loved it; it was what he was always longed for, and his walk with Christ was thriving.

I Can't

But it was messy, and his wife wasn’t one for messiness. She had grown up in a button-down, dress-up-for-Jesus church where you put on your very best we-have-it-together-so-don’t-worry-about-us mask every Sunday. When the probing and penetrating grace of God began to expose their stuff, she bolted.

“We’re going back to a real church,” she told him. “A place where people accept us just the way we are!” What her husband and I knew she meant by that was, “A place where people are accepted just as they want people to think they are.”

I told him what he already knew, what we had been talking about for two years. I turned him to passages that clearly taught that God held him accountable for the spiritual well-being of his family, that it was his responsibility to lead them according to his understanding of the Scriptures, and that his love for his wife should be growing her toward authentic maturity in Christ.

He looked up at me and admitted the truth, “I can’t.”

I told him what I really believed at that moment, “Then there’s nothing I can do for you.”

But God Can!

Now I know better. I was limiting myself to what I could do, what I understood about the Scriptures, how I could persuade him to do what the Bible says.

Something was missing, something that should have come first, something we too often overlook.

Something was missing, something we hardly ever forget when we first believe in Jesus, something we overlook when we begin to feel confident in our use of the Scriptures and our Christian skill set.

The same something the overconfident disciples forgot when they were surrounded by enemies and confronted with the dark evil in this world. Before you read on to find out what’s missing from me, turn to Mark 9:14-29. Jesus will tell you what is missing.

If I could do it over again, I would say, “There is a hurt, a deep wound in your bride’s life that has left her so afraid, so unsettled, so suspicious, that she can’t trust grace—from us, from you, but most importantly from God. I don’t know what that is, but God does. You go home right now and tell her, ‘Honey, before we give up on this, please let me lead you in this way: Pray with me, fast with me. Will you trust God and me enough to do that? To fast and pray before His throne of grace? Let’s stop eating, shift our focus away from our physical need to our spiritual need, and get on our knees. Together, let’s beg Him to heal us, to make us one, to give us hope that we can move forward together in Christ.’”

Ask Him!

Would you have to admit that fasting and praying is missing from your walk with Christ? What do you want God to do? Ask Him. Do away with the distraction of food as you kneel at His throne of grace. Fast and pray.

“This kind comes out by nothing but prayer and fasting.” –Jesus Christ, Mark 9:29

Something Jesus Will Never Say

Many years ago Judy and I were facing our most traumatic and hurtful trial of faith. Our world as we knew it was falling apart, and there was nothing we could do to put the pieces of our lives back together again.

Kevin Butcher and his wife Carla helped us through with words of encouragement, counsel, and their usual warm friendship. As two of our closest friends who understand the challenges and heartaches of local church ministry, their support comforted us greatly.

I didn't understand!

Four years later, Kevin and Carla faced the exact same crisis, the exact same heartache in their own church. I’ll never forget Kevin’s words to me in the middle of his own battle, “Ed, I never knew. I just didn’t understand. I wish I could have helped you more, but now that I’m going through it myself, I get it. There’s so much more I should have said, so much more I could have done.”

I assured my friend that he had not failed us in any way and reminded him of a truth we often have to rehearse: “I can’t know what I don’t know.” There was no way Kevin could have drawn wisdom from an experience he had never known personally.

When I hung up the phone, I thought of Hebrews 4:14-16 and immediately thanked the Lord Jesus for this precious promise. Because of His willingness to come to earth and to experience life as a man, He now sits in heaven with personal knowledge of what it feels like to be me. Every heartache, every trial and even every temptation.

Kevin’s friendship means so much to me. But there are times when even he has to say, “I just didn’t understand all that you were going through. I couldn’t know how you felt, how terrible it was, how much it hurt or how alone you must have been.”

But Someone Always Does!

But there is another Friend. A friend of sinners, who sits at the right hand of the Father. His name is Jesus, and I will never hear Him say, “I just didn’t understand.”

“Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:14-16).

Speaking Code

My organizational communication training was decidedly non-Christian. As a young man I cut my leadership teeth as a squad leader on an elite firefighting crew for the U. S. Forest Service, the Fulton Hotshots. After college, I served as an officer in the United States Army in various leadership positions in a tank battalion. The communication was often crass, even profane, as you might imagine.

What it was not was unclear, vague, or mysterious. Firemen and soldiers have a refreshingly distinct way of telling you exactly what they think about you or the organization. They tell you…exactly what they mean!

Christians? Not so much. It takes years to learn the nuances of the sanctified codes and secret body language of the brethren. It’s not what they said that’s important. It’s what you should have known they meant.

What they say is all prettied up, and spiritualized in safe evango-speak. They pepper their sentences with “from my perspective”, “after a lot of prayer,” and “according to the Bible” jive that somehow makes the most damaging and divisive words acceptable.

But after a while in the sick culture of hidden, codependent religiosity, everyone knows what they really mean:

“You @#*+#%*#, how dare you disagree with me.”

“I didn’t get my *%#@_*+* way, and I’ll be #@#%&*+* if I’m going to take it.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of the charade. Cuss me out, slap me, or scream at the top of your lungs. But please, please, please, tell me what you really mean!

“We should no longer be children, tossed to and fro…in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up!” (Ephesians 4:14-15).

What Worries You Most?

Sleepless in LA

I’m really good at going to sleep. What I’m not good at is staying asleep. 

Like you, I have a lot of responsibility, love a lot of people, but have very little control over any of the circumstances of my life concerning those responsibilities and those people I love. Really, when I think about it, I have zero control.

Nevertheless, I live my daylight hours as if I really did have some control. I make leadership decisions after weighing options, form careful sentences to put in sermons, articles, and books, and try to do as much as I can to make the world a better place for the people I love. 

And then, I fall into bed exhausted but satisfied with all my illusions of control.

Until about 2:00 AM. There’s something about the hours between midnight and dawn that force you to admit that you are powerless, that you have no control, that in spite of your desperate efforts, you’re living life on the precipice of disaster.

Out of Control!

Usually there’s one problem that preoccupies my anxious thoughts. One possible disaster that could unravel everything for me, and the people I love. 

Sometimes it’s a new lesion on my skin. “What if this disease is stirring up again and it escapes from my blood to a vital organ? I’ll be dead in two months! Oh no, what will Judy do then? What will happen to the church? My children and grandchildren?”

Other times it’s some petty troublemaker or purposeful underminer in the church. “What if they cause division in our fellowship? We’ll have to put together endless meetings and people will get hurt. How will it damage the church? Our staff members?”

One of our children or their families always seems to be facing something that worries me. “What if she doesn’t get enough time to finish those papers in grad school? What if he has to deploy again to a warzone? I wonder how he’s doing with the pressures of junior high?”

About ten minutes into this worry-fest, the Holy Spirit reminds me of a truth I can’t deny: The things that worry me the most are the things that are the most out of my control. And that is exactly where the Lord wants me—living with absolute proof of my need for Him!

So what worries you most?

When you answer that question, you’ll know the exact place in your life where Jesus is ready to do His most transformational work!

Here are a couple of verses that help me when I finally get it that this worry is the Lord’s way of teaching me deep lessons of humble faith: “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7).

The re-realization that He’s the only One who can really do anything about my worries is both humbling and comforting. Humbling when I admit how foolish it was to think about these problems as if I could fix them. Comforting when I consider that Someone perfectly reliable and strong cares for me—that I am His personal concern.

What do you see?

Two Stage Healing?

Ever wonder why Jesus healed the blind man in Mark 8:22-26 in two stages? It’s not like He couldn’t get it right the first time. He’s the Son of God, the Creator of heaven and earth. So why did He “kind of” open the guy’s eyes the first time and ask Him if He saw anything? 

The key to understanding the “why” of this unique miracle is to answer the question, “Who witnessed the miracle?” Before you read on, look at the text yourself to find the answer.

Jesus went out of His way to make sure that the only ones watching this miracle were the Twelve. This miracle is the turning point in Mark’s Gospel. Twelve men who had missed the point when Jesus healed the deaf man in Mark 7, now “saw” that their Master was indeed the Christ of God—their Messiah. Peter confessed it.

Look Again!

What they didn’t see was the type of Messiah He was. As soon as Jesus began telling them that He was going to suffer, die and rise again, their same spokesman, Peter, “took Him aside and began to rebuke Him” (Mark 8:32).

Like the blind man after the first stage of healing, they were only seeing a shadowy version of all that Jesus wanted them to see. The rest of the book of Mark demonstrates how Jesus opened their eyes to the full truth of Who He is and what His presence in their lives meant to Him.

They were willing to settle for the living in the shadows of their scaled-down comprehension of the wonder of living in relationship with the Son of God, but Jesus had greater plans for them. These were the men He had chosen to turn the world upside down for Him. These were the ones He would use to do so much more than serve on the earthly thrones they envisioned. He would partner with them to deliver men and women, boys and girls from the pain of sin and death!

Why not ask?

If you were to ask the Lord Jesus, “Where am I living in the shadows because I’ve settled for less?”, what would He say? If you asked Him to open your eyes to what His presence in your life really means, how do you think your perspective would change?

Before you answer that question for yourself, grab your journal (Don’t have a journal? Get One!), settle into a quiet place, and ask Him. And take notes—He will reveal to you what He wants you to see! 

 

“Then He put His hands on his eyes again and made him look up. And he was restored and saw everyone clearly” (Mark 8:25).

Forgotten Grace

Years ago a group of British thinkers on comparative religion furiously debated whether one belief set Christianity apart from other world religions. C. S. Lewis wandered in late, took a seat and asked, “What’s the rumpus about?” They told him they were trying to determine Christianity’s unique contribution among world religions. Without hesitation he replied, “Oh, that’s easy. It’s grace.” 

Would you say that? Without hesitation? If not, you’ll never experience the life Jesus wants to give you. Only those who embrace grace by trusting in His Son receive eternal life. Only those willing to join Christ in risking grace by extending it to sinners without vacillation or compromise will know the spontaneous spiritual joy that sparks spiritual revolution.

Undeserved, unending, unearned, unconditional, uncontrollable, unblinking, unbound, undefiled, undeniable, unequivocal, unfaltering, unhinging, unlimited, unmistakable, unprecedented, unsettling—grace—God’s gift of life to all who believe in His Son, unheard of anywhere else but here—Christianity.

I just finished a wildly popular book the entire Christian world seems gaga over. I found a lot to challenge me in the pages of the book—if I were a Mormon, or a Muslim, or a Buddhist, or the follower of any teaching that tells people to get to work to get right with God. One enamored reviewer wrote, “It’s really deep, there’s a lot there!” I agree…

• A lot to cause believers to wonder if they really do belong to God.
• A lot to shame the reader into shaping up the outside of his or her life.
• A lot to motivate the reader to measure up to the author’s standards of righteousness.

What I didn’t find was grace. 

What are we doing? Where did we go wrong? When did we forget that the Christian life begins and ends with the one distinction of our historic faith: grace!

Don’t write me asking the name of the book because I don’t want you to read it. I don’t want one more person to read it. And I’m praying that everyone exposed to this lie will someday read Paul’s writings. And when they do, they will realize they have been deceived by the latest holier-than-thou-excoriating-grace-protestant version of “righteousness by works, and that of yourselves.”

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Waking Up In America

Waking Up Christian…

Every Christian in the world wakes up every morning as an alien and stranger whose true citizenship is in heaven (Philippians 3:20). Every day we wake up, we know that our first loyalty is to our God (Acts 5:29) who holds us responsible to submit to our governing authorities (Romans 13:1).

 

Spend some time reading and meditating on these verses.

 

Now, think about all the places in the world where Christians wake up. Think about all the places through church history where Christians have faced a day. What kind of struggles did they encounter that you and I, as Americans, will never face?

 

It’s our sobering historic reality. Though there is a lot wrong with the United States, many priorities and trends we would like to change, there has never been a better place to wake up as a Christian than the United States of America.

 

The government has never persecuted Christians for our faith.

 

The government has never limited Christian freedoms to practice our faith.

 

Still not convinced? Try waking up in another place!

 

Checkpoint Charlie

 

When I was a young Army officer I had the opportunity to visit Berlin during the height of the Cold War. I will never forget passing through “Checkpoint Charlie” into East Berlin. West Berlin looked like Los Angeles. East Berlin still looked like a World War II combat zone. More than that, you could feel the fear of the people.

 

It occurred to me then how fortunate it was for the people born in the west.

 

But their fortune was more than mere geography.

 

Since God forms us in the womb, He also determines where we are born. The blessing of those born west of the wall was obvious.

 

How about you and me?

 

Has there ever been a more blessed generation of Christians than us?

 

Answer? No!

 

Fourth of July Praises…

 

Fourth of July weekend is a great time to stop concentrating on all that is wrong with America and start thanking God for all that it means to wake up to serve Him here!

 

When was the last time you fell to your knees to thank God for His goodness to you in making you an American?

 

Ed Underwood

 

Copyright 2009 theTippingPoints.com   Press | Contact Ed  | Church of the Open Door

 

The Day After Father's Day

Father’s Day, 2009!

Father’s Day 2009 may have been the greatest ever for me. A lot of exciting things happened this Father’s Day weekend: I officiated the wedding of a couple whose lives are a living presentation of God’s redemptive power; Church of the Open Door moved into our new Worship Center, and I dedicated our two newest grandbabies in the new Worship Center—Zachary James Newkirk and Amelia Joy Underwood (a few of the cutest babies on the planet!).

After church our entire extended family, minus son-in-law, Kurt (FBI dads don’t always get Father’s Day off!), sat around our patio enjoying the spectacular SoCal summer. The kids gave me some great presents (from a Motown collection to a West Point coach’s polo!), said some wonderful things to me, and we talked and laughed for a couple of hours.

The Day After

That was Sunday; this is Monday. There’s something about the day after that brings perspective. 

The best part of my Father’s Day 2009 wasn’t the excitement about a wedding, our new building, the presents, or even the affirmation from my children…best part of that day, from this father’s perspective, is the best part of the day after Father’s day, and really one of the best parts of all my days—thinking this about my three adult children:

They walk with God.

Each of my children has a deep and abiding relationship with the Lord Jesus and they are raising their children to love and follow Him.

That’s what matters most. It’s not what they’re saying about me; it’s how they’re living for the Lord. It’s not what they’re buying for me; it’s the ways they’re investing in His Kingdom. It’ not about what I’ve done for them; it’s about what they’re doing and going to do for Him. And it’s not even about the joy around our patio table in this world; it’s about the joy we’ll share forever in the world to come.

 

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 John 4).

Father's Day Special--If I could do it over again...

Best Day of My Life!

Today we took my grandson, Wyatt, to the Big Bear Zoo on his fifth birthday. With his heart-melting smile, he said to me, “Papa, this is the greatest day of my life.” I’m pretty sure that the years to come will bring much “greater” days to his life, but in his little five-year-old brain, this is it. 

As he hurried from the bald eagle, to the grizzly bear, to the timber wolf, to the reptile house, back to the grizzly bear, back to the timber wolf, and oh yeah, “don’t forget we gotta go see the bald eagle again, Papa,” I remembered taking his daddy to the Santa Barbara Zoo over thirty years ago. 

I couldn’t help comparing the two experiences—actually, comparing the way I viewed each of them. 

Another Zoo, Another Day

Thirty years ago I was a young dad with a lot of things on my mind. I had papers to write and tests to study for at the University of California at Santa Barbara. There were my duties in the University ROTC cadet corps and preparations for my upcoming commission in the Army. My days were scheduled, regimented, and pressured. 

I remember hurrying Bobby through the exhibits, and saying things like, “No son, we don’t have time to go back to see “Dandy Lion,” at the lion exhibit. Daddy has to be home pretty soon to study.” So we kept on schedule, saw everything. Very efficient.

If I Could Do It Over Again

Today I’m an old guy, but my schedule is more demanding than ever. I just thought I was busy back then! I pastor a busy and effective local church, mentor three different groups of men, write a lot and spend a lot of time talking with people about their walk with Jesus Christ. I always run out of day before I’m done with my responsibilities, and the pressure is extreme. 

But this time I find myself saying things like, “Sure, buddy. If you want to see the bald eagle again, we’ll just go!”

Here’s what I’ve learned…, the pressures will never end, and the busyness never lets up. But, a child’s interest in hearing what his grandfather has to say, will end. All little boys (and little girls!) will grow up, and move on to their own busy lives

If I could do it over again, I’d go back to those lions, hang out with my boy and trust God for the rest. Oh, and I’d buy a lot more candy and ice cream, because a memory is far more precious than a deadline. 

I missed a lot of deadlines yesterday, but it was worth it. It was one of the greatest days of my life!

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord” –Psalm 127:3

You Made the Difference! Not Really...

You Did It!

A few years ago Judy and I sat in our dining room with a couple that had been part of a church we had pastored. She was dying of cancer and he was taking her on her “farewell tour.” As you might imagine, it was an emotional evening.

During one of Judy’s special “you’re important to us” meals, I couldn’t help thinking about the first time we met them. They had just moved to our part of the country to get away from Southern California. Both were pretty much fed up with church, but they saw and heard things in our fellowship that encouraged them to give church one more try. I remembered the men and women who discipled them, and their eventual joy in actually being used by God.

And now, here they were, back in Southern California, sitting around our table. The church both of us had held so dear had imploded and scattered the sheep. Judy and I had moved on with our lives here at Church of the Open Door, but they seemed stuck in their “Ed and Judy” memories.

“It hasn’t been the same since you left. You’re just so special. If it weren’t for you two, we would never have come back to the Lord.”

“We’re trying to find a new church, but nothing measures up. Ed, we miss your preaching. There won’t be another church like we had back then.”

“You two made the difference in our lives.”

No We Didn't...

I had to interrupt them with a pretty disruptive, “Not really!”

And then I reminded them of Who really made the difference in their lives. It wasn’t my preaching, Judy’s warmth and charm, the disciplers in their lives, or even the exciting church that sadly fell apart. 

It was Someone else.

His name is Jesus.

Do you find yourself living in the past or giving credit to mere men and women for what Christ has done in your life?

Maybe it’s time to move on with the One who makes all the difference.

His name is Jesus.

 “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” –Jesus Christ, Hebrews 13:5

by Ed Underwood

Copyright 2009 theTippingPoints.com   Press | Contact Ed  | Church of the Open Door